Monday, May 12, 2008
One setback after another!
WHY?!!
Just as I thought I could finally fight alongside my team-mates for this year's IVP, this happens! Arghh! Can life get any crappier, anymore bogus?! I can't even frickin' remember how I aggravated my damned back! FUCK IT! I had the whole of last year to get injured, but I was as fit as a fiddle. This year, just as my name got submitted, cowshit happens.
Honestly man, what did I bloody do to deserve this?
The physiotherapist advised me not to attend trainings AND take part in the tournament. So what am I 'spose to do? Just follow the judokas to RP as per usual and let my opponents have walk-overs?! HELL NO! I'd rather shed blood, tears and sweat to lose to them than literally give them victory!
I know I don't attend EVERY SINGLE TRAINING SESSION, but for all the sessions that I've gone for, I give it 101%. I do all that the seniors instruct me to, I try my best to spar with all of them (if I'm not already half-dead) and I push myself to complete what Raiden and JJ call "basic training".
I may not be formidable and I am definately NOT the best female judoka NYP has to offer (it used to be Karen, and it's soon gonna be Lois) but that doesn't mean I love the art any less than those who're far stronger and those who've won more trophies/medals.
My fights in Secondary School were really minimal because of the knee injury I sustained during a friendly against AES in 2002. I only won a couple of silvers and one pathetic bronze. This year, with Lois, Brenda, Eunice and WanRong on the squad, I so wanted to give it my all when I'm out on the mats; to taste sweet victory with them. But now?
When I reached home after my treatment, I sms-ed Brenda to tell her the relatively bad news, and she told me that Jaya has already submitted my name for the Individual category.
I swear I nearly peed in my pants.
Seriously, what am I supposed to do? According to Miss Physio, I injured the outer aspect of my spine, meaning a small bit of the bone is involved. Dad said it's better that I don't play around with this injury... Well, I don't wanna be paralysed, duh! But I've fucking worked my tired ass off!
I'm not willing to watch female judokas from other institutions walk-over MY NAME! That bloody isn't fair to me, to Sensei, to those who've trained me up and to NYP.
This is my last chance to prove myself as a judoka from NYP. Please, let it heal by Saturday... just one small request... please :'(
Shadow stepped, body touched, soul crashed at 10:40 pm.
