Friday, July 21, 2006

ALL SETTLED

I've deleted those two entries. Problem solved =)

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I WANT A RICH HUSBAND!!!!!

Hell, yeah! In fact, I don't WANT a rich husband; I NEED a rich husband who can afford to pay for every single molecule of air I breathe in during this lifetime and still have sufficient leftover dough to pamper me with designer clothes and accessories.

But unlike Miss Clara who tied the knot with drama-mama Ballack from Germany, I'd go for Donald Trump instead.

Oh, you might think I'm mad or mentally disrupted for having such bad taste... but I have my reasons what! HAHAHAHA!

Firstly, if we appear on the front page of a magazine, readers would be feasting their eyes on ME and not him! Therefore, I get all the attention and limelight. Clara, you appear on front cover with Ballack... people will all look at him sia! Then what about you??? Not insulting meh?!

Secondly, they wouldn't make statements about me not matching up to him because obviously, he is the one who isn't good enough for yours truly. It's like a rose being placed in a heap of dung right? The only difference between this heap of shit and others is, this pile of excrement is worth trillions. But hey, it's still shit!

Thirdly, he's OLD. He's gonna drop dead anytime soon. So once he's in that diamond-encrusted coffin of his, I get his inheritance, I snag his hunk ol' burning oldest son and I'll migrate to some God-forsaken land and become a God-forsaken millionairess. Following up, I'd sue Donald Trump Jr. for whatever crap reasons I can find, get US$100, 000, 000 from him then change my identity and finally, I can buy over Liverpool FC.

And once I'm boss of LFC, I'd hire gunmen to kidnap Roman Abramovich and slice his belly open to remove his guts. I will also cook up some story about me being his long-lost sister who got lost in Singapore (that's why I don't look like Ang-moh but I really am Ang-moh) and I will get half his wealth. This in turn would make me richer than the King of Brunei.



So there you have it. My life-story which I will publish in my book.


I name my book, "Memoirs of a Psychopath".

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

FUCK MY CURRENT LIFE!

I scored a miserable 60% for bio-practical. Eleven of my course-mates received distinctions. Oh whatever!!! I can't blame anyone for my sucky marks because it's MY fault that I DID NOT STUDY ONE BIT!

Screw you, Jade! If you were the one who put more than thirty of your stupid, sappy songs into my MP3, just admit it! Don't gimme crap excuses like, "Huh?! Where got?! I put it into MY MP3. Aiyah... just delete away lah!"

Nabeh.

So I am expected to just close one eye while you get away with it right?

Oh, cool.

You're the youngest in the family. You get away with practically EVERYTHING.

So what else is new eh?

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Champions revealed!

Oh yeah... Italy won France in the World Cup finals and they have been crowned World Champions. It's the forth time Italy has lifted the trophy (just one trophy behind Brazil). Well, I'm still a fan of Spain, but I must say, the Italians deserved winning more than their opponents did.

Zizou, Zizou, Zizou!!!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU USED YOUR HEAD TO KNOCK DOWN THE ITALIAN DEFENDER?! Goodness gracious me!! The French captain just had to damage his reputation on his last game.

Oh, whatever! Derlinder, Salmon and I were celebrating. AND ALAN AS WELL!!!!


So now moving onto school, did you guys know I am beginning to HATE (and I mean really hate) students from THAT country?! They are so fucking irritating and troublesome can?!

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CK, for the last time, quit telling me long stories when I ask you simple questions like "Do you know what this article is about?". Just tell me yes or no and that's it!! Don't go on and on and tell me the characters involved and what happened to the characters. Oh gosh!!!

Today, the schedule for our Practical test (Module 1036) was out and CK was hogging the file from the time she laid her hands on it. Prasana, Nad, Zaki, Jue, Theresa and I had yet to sign beside our names so I shifted the file towards my direction so that we could search for our timings and then acknowledge it.

Bloody CK was reluctant to let go of the file. The file belong to her meh?! She was flipping the pages back and forth, over and over again for the zillionth time but she still didn't wanna give us an opportunity to look at it. Fuck you, whore! You're not the only one taking the exams.

I hecked her anyway. I signed the slot beside my name and passed it to the others so they could sign it as well. Afterwhich, CK took the file away from us and started flipping the pages yet again.

Can someone please inform this fucker that no matter how many times she turns the pages, the schedules, names and venues of the examinations WILL REMAIN UNCHANGED!

Luqman and two of his friends were standing at the other side of the table and he asked me if he could have a look at the file so he could sign it and attend his class. Since my tutorial group still had five minutes before Clinical Lab started, I shifted the schedules towards Luqman and and CK went, "No, no! I haven't see my name yet!"

Eh, makcik. You cannot find your name, go tell the lecturer lah! You flip here flip there, search high and low for what?! If it's not there, IT'S NOT THERE!!! And please lah, other people must attend class, you know? You still have a frickin' five minutes before Lab starts and you won't give them a chance to look for their names? Quit being so childish can?!

The world doesn't revolve around you. You may be the only child in your family and you could've been treated like a queen since your birth. But this is Singapore ok? There is no one child policy. EVERYONE IS EQUAL! The file doesn't belong to you... so don't keeping hogging it because OTHERS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO LET GO OF IT JUST SO THEY CAN HAVE A LOOK AT IT.

During my one of my discussions, you conveniently asked your friend to wait for you so the both of you could go to lunch together. Then that mindless friend of yours can conveniently sit down on the bench we were using, which in turn caused Shidah to be standing up throughout the whole hour. Very automatic hor? Zhuo ren ke yi zhi dong yi dian ma?! That bongok friend of yours also damn dumb can?! You know we having a meeting and you still come and occupy our space. Not shy one ah?!

Never mind... sit down only mah. Only cause my groupmate to stand up only what. BUT YOU HAD THE CHEEK TO ASK ME IF YOU CAN GO OFF EARLY CAUSE YOU WERE FEELING HUNGRY!!! Eh, you are a sponsored student ok! Singapore hospital sponsor you to have this kind of lousy work attitude one ah?! Knnbccb!

Still got one more incident!! My group was having another meeting. This time, her fucked up friend was sitting far far away from us. "Very good", I thought "at least she has the initiative to leave us alone". But halfway through the meeting hor, she came over and said to CK, "Wei! Ni men dao do hai yao tao lun dao duo jiu?! Wo yi jing zai na'er deng hen jiu le!"

In direct translation, "Wei! How long more does your group intend to discuss? I've been waiting for you for a very long time!"

Nabeh cheebye!!! You wanna go and eat, GO AND EAT! Don't come and interrupt my session with my groupmates just so you can have a partner to munch with! What you did was plain selfish! Understand?! It's bad enough that you interrupted my session. What's worse is, you treated me and the others as though we're fucking ghosts; as if we're non-existant!

Oh God! Don't blame me if I end up murdering the both of you one fine day. I give you my word... I will murder you and you! In my dreams!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

I HATE GETTING BETRAYED

I HATE IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOUR

I HATE LAST MINUTE CHANGES

I HATE IT WHEN MY SCHEDULE GETS SCREWED UP

I HATE HYPOCRITICAL PEOPLE

I HATE PEOPLE WHO TALK ALOT BUT DON'T PERFORM

I HATE NOT REACHING MY POTENTIAL

I HATE TO BE FAT

I HATE YOU AND YOU

I HATE IT WHEN YOU KEEP RELYING ON ME

I HATE STUPID BUS FARES WHICH COST SO FUCKING MUCH

I HATE.... I HATE....

BASICALLY I JUST HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE RIGHT NOW.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The German dream is OVER!

Oh yeah, baybeh! Finally! Once and for all, I can put a stop to comments such as, "They're the host nation... surely win one lor."

Fuck you! Surely win eh???

Here's "surely win" for you! Hahaha! Italy scored 2 goals in 2 minutes during extra time. Oh my goodness gracious... I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry when Jens Lehmann let in the second goal.

That was the time Derlinder and I have been waiting for the past few weeks. It was the one incident I was praying for to happen before the finals of World Cup 2006. Italy silenced the German players and fans with two outrageous goals and you guessed it; I'll be rooting for Italy to lift the trophy for the forth time.

If Espanya can't get their hands on the cup, Deutsland and France can dream on about getting it too. This year, it shall be the Italians that lift it up on National television. Oh yes! Viva la Italia! Call me nuts bitches, but I still love Alan.

Hmm... as for the match later on, I'd rather let Portugal go through to meet the Italian men. I'm not out to go against anyone, but I have my reasons. I hope Portugal experiences the pain and agony Beckham and his men had experienced. I want to see them cry their eyes out and watch on as Italy gets all the glory and they get nothing but silver medals.

France should play against Germany for third placing so a message could be sent across that beating Brazil (the world Champions) doesn't mean shit. You were just plain lucky that Dida happened to be dreaming at the point of time. (You humiliate Spain, you shall live to be suckers)

I slept at freaking 6.30am because after the game, I was sending messages to fans and extreme haters of Germany. Some celebrated with me while others... hehehe... showed negative reactions. Well bitch, filthy underground dealings could have caused Germany their title but it's football. It happens ALL THE TIME, even in games from the EPL, Serie A and La Liga.

HAHAHAHA!!!! Omg, I was so ecsatatic eventhough I had Bio practical at 10am later on!! Usually when there's some sorta major exam/test, I would be squatting outside the tutorial rooms, flipping through my notes anxiously and complaining to Sangeetha and Katherine that I'm not as smart as the both of them.

But today!!! Today of all days, I was jumping up and downing, dancing along the corridors and exclaiming, "Finally the Germans are out! Italy scored 2 goals in 2 minutes! Woohoo!". I was joined by Jue, Shan Ling and Cat. Oh yah, Derlinder too (through sms)!

Ok, enough about soccer mania. I bet all that I've typed will stir a war between me and two other princesses. So enough!!!


Bio practical wasn't all that hard, though I won't be expecting an A for this paper anytime soon. C'mon Dr Yong!!! Just gimme a C and I'll be contented! Lol~! WHY DIDN'T I STUDY THE FEMUR, TIBIA AND RADIUS IN DETAIL?!?!?! The only questions I was confident in getting full marks for was those concerning the human skull. Easy like crap!

After school while walking to Shopping Arcade with Cat, I met Adil. Eh!!! That man go and join floorball leh!! OMG OMG OMG!!! I thought he'd end up in soccer but then he's in floorball! Like, what's happening?!

Then thoughts of my Sec four days came to mind. All the soccer fanatics: Adil, Azmi, Sufiyan, Azri, Syafiq, Kenneth, Hafiz, Sean, Derlinder and I. Oh yeah, those were the good ol' days of the true fans! We all supported different English Clubs but Euro 2004 came and whoo! It was non-stop betting on matches after school and I wasted tonnes of cash on Portugal. Bah!

I bet on the first game France had, and they lost. Fuck those French fuckers. Playing like a bunch of sissified gigolos with Zidane being totally non-existant during most of the matches. Argh! Even Miss Maryanty had nothing to say about the way they played... when I asked her if she found it surprising that France was eliminated in the early rounds, her reply was, "Nope. Judging by the way they played the past few matches, they deserve to get knocked out."

But I won it all back thanks to Czech Republic's Milan Baros for being top scorer of the event but only to lose it all yet again because Portugal couldn't win bloody Greece in the finals.


Oooohhhhhh!!!! Did I mention that my group's presentation for Malay was the best among the other groups in the tutorial room?!?! Mdm Asmah had nothing but praise for us and she DID hinted that we got the highest marks. Way to go, Subgroup 1!!! Huge thanks to all of you for pushing me to the limit and causing me to have fever during the two week break! WE DID IT! Now, we're left with the theory test. All the best guys!

Journal Club presentation on Friday. Why must my group be one of the first to present?! Haiz... better to get it over and done with than have the load strapped onto you for two weeks.

And here's many many thanks to those who sent me sweet messages and presents on my birthday!! The two Princesses, Dick, Kathy, Kelly, Claudia, Jasmine, Louis, Ziqi, Moonie, Prasana, Zaky, Jue, Shidah, Nad, Arlene, Derlinder, Joyce, Rashmi, Hajar, Yoga, Andy, Theresa, Siying, Cat, Karie, Lin Chen, Shan Ling and RACHEL who's in Brisbane!!!!!

It's been ages since I've last seen my dearest childhood girlfriend from SJSM. Thank you for remembering babe! -muacks-

Thank you for the beautiful gifts peeps. It really was pleasant surprises! The necklace, voodoo doll, key-chain and card had to go through hell before reaching me. HAHAHA! I love it all loads!

Monday, July 03, 2006

VOILA!

I am back and I am not happy!

Spain got murdered by France! (My poor Alonso)

Brazil got kicked out by France! (My sweetest Kaka!)

England lost to Portugal! (My darling Gerrard!)

And I got a practical test to study for! (My pitiful self!)

Sunday, July 02, 2006

The pains of my soap-opera life

One of the most heartbreaking things a mother could ever experience would be sending her son to boarding school.

Yeaps, I did just that. I sent Kadbury for a two and a half day trial to a school abroad and now I miss him so! I LOVE MY SON SO MUCH (eventhough he's gay!). How can I discriminate my offspring who's so fucking good-looking?! He bares my genes! And he's of a sexy pink tone.

Now that he's not around, my daughter, Kola, is enjoying getting screwed by a foreign exchange student who will be living with us during the weekend.

How do I knowing some rumpy-pumpy's going on?

Well, I woke up last night and found the both of them lying together in bed, side-by-side. OH YEAH! That's my lovely daughter for you! MAKE HIM HIGH, GIRL!

P.S: Do take into consideration that the foreign exchange student is a girl. My goodness... my children are homosexuals. Lovely kids, don't you agree??? And I love them so!


Clara, the mother of that foreign student, is currently climaxing beside me. I know it's not right for a female to do it in the presence of another (cos it's a turn-off), but she just can't help her sexual hormones.

All she had to do, was run through some pages of Michael Ballack, and she began saying stuffs like, "Ughh... he's so hot... so cute right? OOOooohhhh... omg! he's so handsome! Aaaahhh!!!". Afterwhich, she started caressing me (!!!!!). I feel so taken advantage off!

IF I'M GONNA HAVE MY BEANCURD EATEN, IT'S NOT GONNA BE YOU, BITCH!!!!

Can you guys believe it?! She just asked me if I felt sparks between us!!! Holy shite crap! I am so underage for this. No doubt I just turned 18, I am only allowed to do it with carrots and bolsters (which I enjoy very much, so I don't need humans!).


People who did not celebrate my birthday with me, please send me huge carrots and soft bolsters. Make sure those carrots are of eligible size, has a hairy texture and a pointed end.

Ooohhh lala! I am so enjoying typing all this!

Btw, I'm Clara and I'm messing up this blog! Buahahahaha!