Saturday, January 31, 2009
I'M EDITTING THE PICTURES THAT I HAVE SO FAR AND WAITING FOR THE REST FROM DORIE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO CHARGE MY CAMERA THE NIGHT BEFORE AND TOOK LESS THAN 20 PICTURES WITH IT!!!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Everything's not alrightWhy is it that whenever I'm asked to do something, and I do it without complaining (even if it's not my assigned duty), I get reprimanded like I deserved it? If I perform poorly or do it wrongly and get scolded, fine. But I bloody did it right and still got yelled at.
Why?!
Why is it when others ask questions, they have the chance to sit down and discuss it, but when I ask a question, I get the question thrown back at me? Obviously, I can't answer it (or I wouldn't have asked in the first place) and I'm made the laughing stock.
Why!!!
Why are others provided with guidance for the simplest of the basics but I have to do EVERYTHING BY MYSELF and if I ask for the tiniest bit of supervision, I get verbally smacked in the face because of my "lack of pro-activeness to learn"?
Why!??
Why am I even working so hard? Why am i forcing myself to wake up at bloody 5am every morning to bloody drag my fat-ass there, just to be put down time and time again? Why am I kidding myself that nursing is the path for me? Why am I pushing myself so hard despite knowing that I'll never be good enough? Why am I still holding on so tightly to a future which I don't know how long will last?
Why was I so stupid and stubborn to believe that a girl like me can succeed as a nurse? It's obviously not my forte, given what you have said. Why was I so naive to even bother applying to come here when my former hospital appreciated me much more? I only got my butt kicked in the end... multiple times, on multiple occasions and by the same idiot over and over again. You do enjoy putting me down, don't you?
From the start till now, I've worked to the best of my abilities. I've never been late, I've never been sloppy, never left early, agreed to have my break-time cut down, took in whatever dirt got thrown my way, even take the blame for other students' mistakes... and it all came down to what? Getting pushed around even more. I'm tired from playing this role/portraying this image that isn't me. Please, they don't even know that I smoke, club, drink and have a fetish for tattoos. They don't even fucking know the kind of people I used to hang out with or the kinds of trouble I've gotten into. All they see is this timid little cookie-case with a damned pony-tail who's never late for work and is afraid to voice out her opinions. I'm sick of being someone I'm not. I hate what this posting has turned me into. I HATE CHEENA-POKS.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Dedicated to THE PIGOLOGISTI asked Shanling along for the soon-to-come hiking trip at ubin and here's part of the conversation that kept me laughing until now:
Þ¡gºlOg¡st ר says:
eh haf to prepare what ah?
- kimmi raiden - shadowbodysoul.blogspot.com says:
we're wearing sports attire there and only changing after we leave ubin
so... things to prepare
1) water-bottle
2) sunblock
3) extra clothes
4) extra G-strings (in other words, UNDERGARMENTS)
5) small towel
6) appropriate hiking footwear
7) insect repellent
8) CAMERA!
Þ¡gºlOg¡st ר says:
okok
G-strings as in those strings for climbing ah?
hahahahs noob
- kimmi raiden - shadowbodysoul.blogspot.com says:
HAHAHAAHAHAHAH
OMG, SHAN!!!!! U'RE DAMN FUNNY LAH!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
G-strings = UNDERWEAR lah
cute sia!
Þ¡gºlOg¡st ר says:
EHH
but why need Gstrings for hiking!
i thought it would be stupid to think its G string as in underwear
so i thought its some string for hiking
- kimmi raiden - shadowbodysoul.blogspot.com says:
i was jus kidding lah!
The conversation went on about her thinking that a G-string is "some kind of string used to pull people up" but I stupidly closed her page!! Dumb dumb! The girl is obviously very tired of her ward routines... she actually got confused between STRING and ROPE. But don't worry babe, things will be back to normal on Friday when we head back to NYP (even if it's only for 8 hours).
To my nurses: Just 2 more days!!!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The inside scoop - Part I
When we started to toss the dish, the clams kept dropping onto the table and Scott had to stop and pick the clams up to put it back into the bowl. I heard him say, "Oi, toss properly leh! Don't waste the gold!!!". KUAHAHAHAHA! Apparently, the clams stood for "jing yi man tang"... in other words, WEALTH. So fallen clams = fallen wealth.
Omg, and you wonder how long the recession will last.
This post will only be continued once I'm done with the rest of my celebration. Hehehe! Gotta create a lil' suspense here and there, right? Oh well, I'm more or less prepared for tomorrow and the day after. Thank goodness for the intense conditioning for my hair... otherwise, it'll be more like hay!
Did I mention, this year, I'm gonna be dressed in nothing but PINK & BLACK. The outfit's been prepared, my nails have been painted, my purse has been emptied (to make way for angpows) but as for shoes... Bah! I'm just gonna go with my cream-coloured heels because I doubt I'd be wearing black heels with pink stripes (or vice versa) in the long run.
Yup, you can expect tonnes of photos to be taken... maybe not of my family, but definately of MYSELF and the New Year goodies. Wahahahaha! You know you don't wanna miss out on this :)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
As things draw to a closeI think I screwed up my interview with Sister Wong this afternoon - TOTALLY. At times when she gave me scenarios of how I'm gonna handle certain patients/situations, I replied her and I ALMOST CRIED ON THE SPOT! Dang, how loserish can I get nowadays?! Wth! My tears were seriously on the verge of sliding down my cheeks (I was using non-waterproof mascara!!). Aiyah, dunno lah! When Hidaya & Ashley got interviewed, Wei Wei didn't sit in with them... but for my case, SHE DID! Wah lao! Two ward sisters sitting there listening to me talk crap, and this is not just any interview - it concerns my life after graduation!!
Yesterday, Michelle S. and I were deployed to C-Station to nurse 3 VIPs and when we were done writing our reports, I told her despite liking the working environment here, I may not be able to come back after PRCP due to their lowered intake of new staff. Nevertheless, she asked me to go ahead with the interview cos "you never know if you don't try".
Oh well, I've tried and.... OMG, I AM SUCH A LOSER CAN!!! Who bloody gets teary-eyed during a friggin' interview?!?! My goodness, I can't believe my sudden lack of self-assurance... where has all the confidence gone to?! Eversince I began my final posting in November, my confidence has been draining to freaks-know-where and how the hell am i gonna get it back when I screwed up so badly!!! Headache lah, headache lah!
Just pray that I won't be a jobless bum. I'm anticipating a drop in salary (if I get hired - fucking recession) but I couldn't care less! JUST GIMME THE JOB! I don't even bother which station I get placed in.. JUST GIMME THE JOB! I don't wanna be unemployed, all my 3 years would be for nothing! Plus, I needa save for my NZ road-trip and water-sports courses so really, GIMME THE JOB! My transcripts have been passed to them, and it's quite good what!!! SO GIMME THE JOB!
Two ward sisters interviewing me... Can't believe this man... Can I have a face change and an identity switch NOW? Or at least let me have a shell to hide myself in when I report to work tomorrow morning.
Haiz, there's no use crying over spilled milk now.. I wish I were lactose intolerant. WAHAHAHAHA! That was random. My PRCP photo album has been updated; I uploaded 40 new pictures, so go ahead and have a look if you want. If anyone of you see Michelle S.'s picture and find her familiar, she's an ex-NYP student an also a dancer from FB.
CNY is just next week. Honestly, the only TWO things I look forward to are the red packets and new clothes. Other than that, I loathe CNY. The streets are so noisy (irritating cheena-poks shouting at the top of their lungs and those bloody CNY songs blasting on stereos), majority of the shops are closed... just dislike it all lah. Comparing it to Christmas, the 25th of December wins by knock-out! Christmas carols are SO MUCH MORE pleasant hearing.
I won't be seeing my nephews this year and it's kinda disheartening. I may not be all that close to them but still, which aunt (omg!) wouldn't wanna see how much her nephews have grown? It's been almost a year since I last saw either of them; I wanna bully Seb and read his handphone inbox! I wanna be a Decepticon bent on killing Sherman's transformers! I wanna stroke Euan's ever chubby cheeks! I wanna piggy-back Aden and take many many pictures with him!
MONEY MONEY MONEY - Me needs tonnes of $$$ for a trip to KL in Feb and Tioman in March.
Monday, January 19, 2009
When the tables turn
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Happy happy!
more pictures on multiply SOON! stay tuned :)
Friday, January 16, 2009
OMFG!I seriously don't know how the permanent night staff here survive this 10hour ordeal.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Gimme a tsunami!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Tiny note for myselfIf he breaks his promises, CLOSE ONE EYE. He's busy with his stuff and I'm super-duper free during my PRCP period because, why? Nurses are not doctors, so their jobs are not so tedious.
If he's late for meeting me, CLOSE THE OTHER EYE. I gotta get used to the fact that I'm ONLY his girlfriend. Everybody and everything else is more important than a silly ol' gf.
If he doesn't have $$$ when we're out, SQUEESE BOTH EYES TIGHT. It's simply my misfortune that he'd rather spend his cash/profits on computer parts. (Remember, Kim, you're only a lousy girlfriend who has no say in the guy's life)
If he tells you to meet him at one place but he ends up waiting at the wrong destination, TAPE BOTH EYES DOWN. Singapore is too over-populated and the shopping malls here are so crappy, the cinema's ticketing counter can be easily mistaken for the 1st level toilet.
If he screams at you for something entirely not your fault, JUST DOZE OFF (my eyes have been closed too long anyway).
Friday, January 09, 2009
Probably the DUMBEST politician (still) alive
So the USA is supporting Isreal in their war against Palestine. And this bastard thinks it's a good idea to boycott American products in Malaysia; one of which is Coca-cola -_-"
His response to his (stupid) actions: "I'm not asking you to die. Just asking you to stop drinking Coca-cola. You won't die if you don't drink!"
WHAT KIND OF STATEMENT IS THAT?! People from all over the world are so gonna assume that Malaysians are brainless because their former Prime Minister doesn't seem to own a brain!
Fucking bastard!
You want to talk about dying, why didn't you just die a few years back when you had cardiac problems?! Why undergo CABG?! Knn!!! You should've just stopped breathing altogether and save the surgeons all the trouble... recuperate back to health already then wanna stir up trouble. Fuck you to the ends of this earth man!
Finding fault with people/other politicians doesn't seem to be enough for him... boycott soft drink also gives him kick! WTF! What's next?! Start civil war with the orang asli tribe?!
Fucking stupid can?!!!
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Empathy needed (desperately)
Friday, January 02, 2009
Random conversation:Nadirah: anws anws.. i hope you both are doing great yeahs!!
Shidah: yeap, sweating my butt off
Kimmi: I'm freezing my butt off
Nadirah: I'm... I dunno my butt off
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Twenty-Oh-Nine
MUMMY
The last 6 months haven't been easy for you. You're the one that got hit the hardest, suffered the most, dealt with the ugliest of backstabbing. But still you stand so strong and determined. Maybe you're trying to be a role-model to Jade and I about how we should be independent and prepared, or maybe you're putting up a (false) strong front so we wouldn't be so affected by it all.
Nevertheless, I have learnt so much from you. I did question God why he had to make you go through this... No answer received. But I'm beginning to see the change in you, the change in our relationship.
I've never been a good daughter; sensible, perhaps, but never good. I made you go through so much back in '99. This time, it's not my fault, but believe me, I am working towards giving you a better life. Just bear with the torment a little more... the end results WILL be worth it. And we'll never see or hear from them EVER AGAIN!
MY LOVE
And so, the honeymoon period has died down. The conflicts have multiplied and I deeply regret the occasions whereby I cuss at you without considering how you felt deep down inside. I could kick myself for putting you through so much and saying all that I said to deliberately hurt you. I know I have issues with my temperament. I've been a pampered child my whole life and experiencing this side of life with you... I needed to learn how to give in and quit being self-centred.
I am still selfish, and to think that you're willing to wake up at the wee hours of the night to send me home from the chalet made me feel so blessed to have you in my life. Not even my own father would do such a thing... yet you did... without a single complaint.
You're more than a mere stranger who entered my life and made this chapter beautiful. You're a godsend... my loving angel in disguise :) Sometimes, you can be the blur-est noob of mankind. Don't fret now, honey. Cos I love you.
We had sucha good time at the chalet, did we not?! So sad that you'll be flying back to NZ on the 12th... that's less than a fortnight away!! We only managed to meet up a few times because we're forever having to much on our schedules. Nevertheless, thanks for staying up late late late to chat with me online when I was feeling down. Remember, OUR ROAD TRIP!! Hurry up and get your license so we can ride like hippies!
Here's a list of things to thank you for:
Staying up till 5am (NZ time) to discuss about the chalet
Putting up with my ever so drama life events
Replying my sms-es in the middle of the night when I felt crappy
Being sucha good girl pal :D
It's 2009 and I'm turning 21. My goodness!!! Seems like it was only yesterday when I whined about becoming 20! Oh well, another year older, another load of responsibility and another step towards moving away from this horrible place. I don't know when it'll be... cos I wanna secure all my qualifications before I say bye-bye.
Aussie, NZ, UK or USA? One thing for sure, I'll go to place where people do not speak cheena-pok to me. I can converse fairly well in my mother-tongue, but after seeing how despicable Cheena-poks can get, I'm kinda ashamed to be associated with them. Which is why I'd rather have people mistaken me for a malay. I'm NOT Chinese (I don't wanna have anything to do with them). I'm Peranakan and I'm extremely proud of my heritage... eventhough I can't cook any of their dishes :P
See you guys around soon! 4 more weeks left for PRCP and it's Graduation :D
