Monday, July 28, 2008

Chapter 5 - Closure

I cried myself to sleep last night. The tears flowed on continuously and effortlessly despite me trying my best to curb the constant sobs and occasional chokes. That alone cannot sum up the tremendous amount of pain you implanted within me.

Why?

Why am I here?

A new door has opened up for me, but I'm still clinging onto the knob of the one that's closing; shutting me out from everything else. The multiple cracks on this wooden door... image-wise, it can't be compared to the new white-washed Victorian-style one, but it's the one I love. Yet however hard I try to hold onto it, it's just bent on shutting itself and leaving me alone in this awful place I've long accepted as my "Home".

Can you feel the hurt inside of me? Can you look pass my exterior and understand how much your touch means to me? Will this punishment never end? I'm beginning to feel so weak... so alone... Where are you?? Where are you when I need you by my side? You said that you'll always be there for me... So where are you?!

But even if you do appear before my eyes, it's just your body and your shadow. What I need is your heart and your soul... They've drifted away. Too far away to even retrieve a fraction of it back.

As Britney sang, "Your body's here but you are not..."






Goodbye :'(

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Why water has no taste?!

I've had a couple of appointments with Herbalife now... and the final conclusion of why my tummy's still flabby (despite it being flat) is because I've got bloody WATER RETENTION!

So my consultant has advised me to drink at least 8 glasses a day but it seems pretty difficult for me lah!! I think on average, I'd gulp down only 4 cups daily? Not quite sure about that, cos sometimes I can even FORGET TO DRINK!

Yes, I'm the sort of person who can go without food or water for the day, but can't survive without at least 9 hours of shut-eye. Weird? =P

While studying my eyes out last night, I decided to run my usual track at midnight. Firstly, it'll keep me awake, and secondly, it'll help in increasing my intake of H2O.

Guess what?


It didn't help. WAHAHAHAHA!!! I only swallowed my third mouthful of water and I felt as though I was gonna throw up any moment! OMG, apparently, I've morphed from a piglet (cos I'm always sleeping) to a CAMEL! I don't believe it, myself... but, probably my body's adapted to functioning without adequate water. LOL! Therefore, it's storing tonnes of water at my abdomen region to prevent me from getting dehydrated.


The wonders of the human body...

But I ain't giving up that early!! I'm giving myself two months to frickin' lose the flab and another six months to finally attain those abs! Raiden, you're gonna be a busy boy from now on, GEDDIT?! If I don't see at least a four-pec, IMMA SHAVE YOU BALD!!!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Friday, July 25, 2008

You don't have to know! So KPO!

Can you guys just BACK OFF?!

STOP PROBING INTO MY PRIVATE LIFE! Whatever happens between Raiden and I is solely OUR problem. We don't need anyone's help in regards to relationship issues.

I decided to change my status to "single" on Facebook because

a) NOBODY needs to know who I'm in a relationship with and

b) I am definately not gonna let the whole of the Facebook committee know that we broke up (if we ever do)

Thanks for the many "concerned messages" from people, but you guys are DORKS. You're the sort of beings that believe EVERYTHING you read in tabloids. L-A-M-E! So just because your life sucks, GET OFF MINE!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I'M DESPERATE!!!!

At this point of time, I don't really need much; just a nice tanning-session and brazilian waxing!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

THEORY TEST OVER!

Yes, you heard me right. The dreaded Clinical lab theory paper is finally over and done with! So much so for study "Management of Oxylog"! NEVER EVEN COME OUT LAH! Basket. Ok, I shall not complain because I am confident that I'll get 95% of my SAQ questions right =) I burnt midnight oil for two nights straight just to memorise my notes on defibrillation and management for cytotoxic waste ok! Die, die also wanna do well ah!

My lecturer passed me for the first half of my practical. Hahaha! So I'm just left with one major practical skill demonstration and I'm finished with this module... FOREVER AND EVER!

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AND EVER AND EVER!!!!!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Friday, July 11, 2008

Wow!

I COULD BE ON MY WAY TO A PRIVATE HOSPITAL FOR PRCP!!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

An interesting tutorial

Okay, I can't stand leaving my blog stagnant, so here's a draft that I composed quite a while ago, but never had the mood to post it up. Hahaha! Have fun reading while I'm gone, ok? And tell me you regretted not joining my course coz we always have a HELLUVA GOOD TIME during tutorials =)

Andy Ong had a tutorial session with the class a few weeks back and he made us play a game. Each and everyone of us had to paste a piece of paper on our backs and go around letting our classmates write what they thought about us.

I love Psychology/Sociology tutorials. IT'S DAMN FUN LAR! But when the exams approach ah, no longer fun liao =P And with the HAWT Andy Ong as our lecturer... *sigh*



This was what I wrote on the backs of the Sea Creatures:



Shidah = PENDEK!
Jue = Voluptuous
Nad = BLUR-BLOCK








I was being so evil to them!! When I took the paper off my back to see what they wrote of me, I felt so guilty =(

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Sollie lar!!

Bear with my blogging hiatus for awhile, ok? I've a theory test coming up next wednesday and the MAJOR, MAJOR skills practical the week after. Can understand my plight, right? Presentations almost every week, theory test, skills practical, final papers, Geron/Emergency Department/OT attachments and the much feared PRCP.

Out of all these agendas, I'm only looking forward to my OT posting. Hahaha! Can't wait to see the insides of a real human being (I am so sick of dummies)!

Baby, I love you <3

Friday, July 04, 2008

HEY! HEY! HEY!

I've created a Facebook account! CK, you are so right; Friendster SUCKS!! Start adding me!!

Thursday, July 03, 2008

With previously unreleased bonus tracks!

Now most of you should know why I've not been blogging as often. Nyehehehe! Cos I've been too busy training my vocals for my upcoming DEBUT ALBUM!! It hits the stores this fall, so do show me your utmost support, yeah? :)

JUST KIDDING!!!

Me? A singer/celebrity?! Gimme a break! Though I won't strike off any possibilities of me joining the media line, I'm not the type who'd wanna be in the headlines (for all the wrong reasons). I'm more of a behind-the-scenes person...

Those 10 "songs" that I have are actually my self-written poems. Never in a million years would you imagine me writing poems eh? But I do! And I decided to edit that picture of mine to make it look like a CD-cover with all my poem titles because...

I LOST MY BOOK OF POEMS!!!

Searched high and low but I can't find it anywhere!! God save me!!

Review of "songs":

1) The day you caught my eye

-Obviously written for my baby! I remember very vividly, the day I walked into NYP's dojo for the very first time... and there he was; ready for sparring, ready for BASIC TRAINING. Despite him having beads of sweat all over his face, he looked awesome =P Err... awesome because last time got very sexy abs! Now? Hehehehe!! I STILL LOVE YOU, BABY!

2) Just a step @ a time

-After I came back from a Students' Exchange Programme last year, something so horrifying happened that I was sick to the gut (very sarcastically put across). I wasn't sure of what to do, how to cope or how to react to the situation. Called and confided in a couple of friends and most of them told me to take each day as it comes by. Hence, the title.

3) My lover, My angel

-Don't be fooled by the title! It's NOT a poem on love/romance. I wrote this when I was an "emo kid" back when I was 18. To sum it all up, in the poem, this girl loved a guy so much (to the extent that she gave up everything for him), but he played her out. She killed herself by jumping off a high-rise building. I wrote this specially for the bastard that two-timed me when I was 16. May you fuck off to hell! =)

4) You girls stayed true

-Duh, have got tonnes of girlfriends, but this one is only dedicated to TWO ladies who've been there for me since the beginning of Poly. Is there a need to type out their names here? LOL! Don't want leh! Later they two hao-lian that I write poem for them! Ssssshhhhh!!!!!

5) Broken Bones

-I'M A LIAR!! I've never suffered any broken bones before. Wakakaka! But hey, back in 2002 when I sustained that ~!@#$% knee injury, I was in so much pain for 9 months that I figured it didn't matter if it's a ligament/joint/bone injury... IT WAS STILL PAINFUL! Imagine not being able to sprint cos if I overworked my leg, the injured knee would just go *pop*

6) Dreams go on forever

-This one was written in 2006 when I got accepted into NYP. I was elated because, after so long, I finally got into Nursing. Lol! It may sound a little too exaggerated, but I felt like I'd just won an Olympic medal =D

7) Never Say Goodbye

-Alright, I am so gonna start shedding tears. I penned this poem for my doggie when he passed away on 31-10-05. He left me one week before my first major paper... The vet told my parents that a tumour was growing in his brain; it's either we put him to sleep, or we let him live and suffer. I will NEVER forget the look in his eyes when I visited him for the last time. I was crying my lungs out... so was he. I miss you, Rocky.

8) Etched in my heart

-No apparent reason for having this one written. I just happened to be listening to "Deep in my heart" by Britney and I thought to myself, "Most are my poems are classified under 'emo'. Why not have a 'bubblegum pop' poem?" and so, it was written.

"Bonus Tracks"

9) Touch me now

-I just ended my Obstetrics posting when I had the urge to write yet again. I witnessed the birth of a beautiful baby girl and the following couple of days, I couldn't resist not holding her in my arms. But the SEN always ask me not to carry her too much -_-" So, in this poem, I'm the baby girl and I was desperate for a nurse to carry me NON-STOP!

10) Soft as silk

-Written for just about every patient that's been under my care. I can't go into details for this one coz it's kinda private, so I hope you guys understand.

I still can't find my poem book... ='(

I am so fallin' asleep

Today would be one of those super draggy days whereby there are only 3 lectures. Yesh, the first lecture (by hawt Andy Ong) starts at bloody 8am and the next lecture only begins 5 HOURS LATER!!!

Raiden doesn't start school till 12pm today (lucky squirt), so here I am, in the computer lab blogging about absoutely NOTHING. Damn boring lahh!! The only thing on my mind right now is that I wanna head off to the nearest pool/beach and bake under the glorious sun... Hahaha! Haven't been tanning for almost a month now, and surprisingly, my tan has yet to fade off =)

I bought a new denim skirt and bikini yesterday while shopping with HY. Stupid woman! Everytime I'm out with her, it's me who spends moolahs and not her! Not that I have tonnes of money at hand, but how do you expect me to walk into Bugis Street and exit empty-handed?! Stuff there are frickin' cheap (though not dirt-cheap) and WHO SAYS CHEAP STUFF AREN'T GOOD??

Hmm, when will my next trip to Sentosa be? I am so gonna stroll back to Tanjong Beach and re-live my 18-year-old days. The smallest and most boring beach of all in Sentosa, but the place that holds many fond memories. Plus, Amazing Race Asia 2 also chose that place to hold their very last road-block.

I LOVE TANJONG BEACH.

Oh! Oh! oh! Updates on FYP and Community Health; both presentations were SUCCESSES! Finally, all our hard work paid off... we spent $120 on these two projects and I can say for a fact that Irene and Patricia were both very, very, VERY impressed with our product(s).

Was kinda apprehensive about selecting HIV/STDs for our main topic (as it is relatively well-known as compared to, say, Meningitis?) but hey, WE DID IT!! Congrats to all six of us. Woohoo!

Okay, I am beginning to feel kinda agitated because the chairs in the com lab SUCK!! It's so low and it's height doesn't tally with that of the table's, dammit! Yes, my dear idiots, I already tried to increase the height of the chair but you know what? IT'S SPOILT! Rah! Now I know how a hobbit feels like standing next to Gandalf.

Can somebody attend the next two lectures on my behalf and help to copy down any important notes? 5 HOUR BREAK LEH!! What the hell am I 'spose to do?!

I WANT TO GO TANNING! I WANT TO GO ROLLER-BLADING! I WANT TO SLEEP!

Weekend faster come! Weekend faster come! Weekend faster come!

******

A friend of mine gave me consent to blog about her medical condition, so those 50% of readers who've stopped coming to my site have better get your individual asses BACK HERE and READ this post!

So this friend of mine is currently 26 years old and she was diagnosed with Pre-Mature Ovarian Failure not too long ago. She seeked medical help after another friend and I kept egging her to do so and she made an appointment with a young female doctor at a certain hospital.

Hint: This hospital is, in my opinion, the WORST hospital is SG. Especially Ward 66!

Anyway, that bimbo of a doctor was so enthusiastic about my friend's initial medical problem (POF), that she completely ignored that fact that POF could lead to Osteoporosis!!

Like, duh!! When a woman stops menstruating (aka experiences menopause), the level of oestrogen within her body takes a plunge. So without this hormone, the cells that builds up one's bone aren't able to keep up with cells that remove old bone cells and thus, an imbalance in the bone mass occurs!

Thanks to her negligence, my friend now suffers from Osteoporosis (spine) AND Osteopenia (left thigh). Doctors are just so intelligent these days... intelligent in STICKING TO BOOKS! They never seem to be able to think out of the box! Look at what it's caused my friend now!

She's only frickin' 26!

Osteoporosis at this age?! And who do we have to thank for? Some genius who had the gall to say, "Considering you're only 26, the risk of you contracting Osteoporosis is very low".

True, the risk is low, but were we taught to put it aside just because "the risk is low"?! Irregardless of how low or how slim the chances are of her getting the disease are, the risk IS STILL THERE! Look at what's happened now thanks to your late interventions?! She really did get the disease! And this nightmare is not one that's haunting you... it's haunting her and you are the cause of it.

How fair is this?

People entrust their lives into your hands and you do such slip-shot work. WTF! Still have the cheek to complain that you're not getting paid enough?! Wei, if your salary is "not enough", what about that of the nurses and other hospital staff?! Money, money, money... if earning money is your top priority, then this isn't the suitable job for you! As a doctor, it's your top priority to SAVE LIVES/CURE PEOPLE.

In case you're wondering what's happened to my friend, she's doing well at the moment and another doctor has prescribed her with stronger Calcium tablets. Like that's gonna help cure her condition. What, it's suppose to be some sort of consolation for what the other doctor has done? Sickening. She can't lie down on her bed in the same position for too long, otherwise she may experience tingling sensations down her back.

Blardy heow! In Singapore cannot have protest, if not I hold petition against this hospital and doctor! Pull her pants off and spank her in public... followed by farting CONSISTENTLY up her nostrils. *smirk* Even that won't help make my friend 100% healthy again.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Dancing in the Moonlight

I was surfing through some pictures and came across one showing the team of Apollo 17 making their mark on the Moon.