Monday, October 31, 2005

I'm letting it all out!

Claris Ortega, can you just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you?! After all the despicable stuff that you've done to us, you have the nerve the accuse Amal and I for "putting words in (your) mouth", "pointing our fingers at (you)" and "accusing (you) falsely"?! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, STOP PLAYING THE ROLE OF THE VICTIM OK?

Your kurapted skin is actually lead-thick. You heard me? IT'S LEAD-THICK! Alpha, beta and gamma rays cannot even penetrate through it. For the 5 years that I've been your classmate (I know, lim peh damn suay), you have never once told the truth. Yah, sure. We all know that you have caviar for dinner every night with red wine. We're also aware that your boyfriend has supper with God once every fortnight.

Oh boy, Saturday was fun! Miss Kuraptor conveniently gave my number to her BF (Shan) and the boyfriend claimed that I "got (him) involved in the situation" because typed out his name in the entry I wrote for Amal.

OH PLEASE. Just because your name is included doesn't mean that you're "involved". I was asking Claris if she was going to get her oversized boyfriend to ride his environmental-polluting vehicle down to EV to confront Amal. And Shan wasn't happy about because I insulted him and his bike (?) without knowing his background.

HUH????? Do I need to "know (your) background" to call you fat, Shan? Fine. You wanna play kiddy games with me, I'll play along. Then explain to me why you called me a "pussy-licker" and "pussy carrier". You also don't know my background right?! KANINABUCHOWCHEEBAI! I lick Amal's pussy is it? Well, at least it beats fiddling with kuraps. =p

Later on, Claris called me and yada yada yada.

"Hello, Kim ah? This is Claris. When I use Shan to fight with you huh? You tell me. When did I ever use Shan's name to fight with you?"

And Shan ah, this is Kim ah. Tell me, when did I tell you that Claris use your name to fight with me? What I said was "Claris is always using your name to brag to others that she has a boyfriend. Shan here, Shan there. Shan this, Shan that. Listen until sian." What the hell, simple Singlish also don't understand? What use Shan's name and fight with me?!

DORTZ.....

Ortega, are you sure that you've never lied to us before? I'm not sure if the number of false tales you've told Amal and group can beat the amount I've received from you. Do you remember last year's Euro Cup? You kept my ticket and my winnings for yourself, you incorrigible whore. And when I looked you up in school for it, you returned me $5 (the amount that I used to bet) out of the $28.95 that you owe.

What did you do after that? Let's see, you went home and complained to your mum that I "harrassed" you for money?! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU SAID THAT MAN? In school got SO MANY chiobu and I choose to harrass you arh?

Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! I don't think I'm myopic anymore. I MUST BE BLIND. Back to the story, her mother then called my dad and complained to him that I was harrassing her lovable daughter and distracting her from her studies. Tsk tsk... distracting her from her studies wor!! Say until her daughter damn scholarly like that. In the end, did worse than me in the 'O's. And if you're not guilty, why return the initial sum of money that I gave you huh?

*rolls eyes and spits* PUI!!!!!!!

Aaaawwww... I actually sympathise with you. Your ex-boyfriend (Winson) stole my number from your phone and wanted to call me that very night to have a conversation. It's a sad case for you, and a fucking insulting one for me. Eeewwww!!!! Knowing that a guy of THAT STANDARD wants to pick me up just erks me. Who does he think he is anyway?! He's got no looks, no cash and no future. Plus, he's severely overweight (and I hate guys who don't play sports). And then you accused me of scandalling with him! Excuse moi, I may be single but I'm not desperate. There are hundreds of gigolos out there with a better body made for pleasing a girl. I don't need to bed your guy.

Moreover, if I was the kind who goes out with my friend's BF, Don't you think I would rather go out with Jordan (Kuanli's), Farhan (Amal's), Izam (Fir's) and Nick (Clara's)?!! Go out with Winson... tell him slowly wait lah! Erm, girls, I promise I won't lay a finger on your guys.

Winson tells you that he sms-ed the wrong person (he intended to sms you but sent the msg to me) and you believed him? How stupid can you get?! WHAT WAS MY NUMBER DOING IN HIS PHONE TO BEGIN WITH?! I don't recall exchanging more than 2 words with him when I met him at your place for the first time. So just deal with it ok? He was trying to hook up with me and two-time you. And Winson, I hope you're reading this, try reflecting yourself in a mirror before you ever try that stint on another girl.

Peeps, read this.

Claris: Eh, Shan say that you told him I use his name to find taiji in school. That is what I heard lah. Did you say that?

Me: I didn't say that. What I said was you're always bragging about him in school. Shan here, shan there. Yes, Shan conquered Mount Everest, Shan swam the Yellow river, Shan had dinner with God, on and on and on.

Claris: I DID NOT SAY SHAN CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN, I DID NOT SAY SHAN HAD DINNER WITH GOD......
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Wah lan eh, sometimes talking to toddlers just make me feel so dumb. I was using expressions and there she was, thinking that Shan literally sat down at the table to makan with God. Get a life lah.

Kurap and I exchanged a few harsh words and I hung after saying "Lazy to argue with you lah, BYE!!!" Shan, the hero of the day, called back and then passed the phone to Claris to let me "talk things out with her". I hung up again and he sent me this sms, " So.. you're the one that been lying, ha..."

HAHAHAHA! I hang up means I tell lies eh? Ortega shout, "Fuck off" through the phone means she tell truth ah? Me no time argue with you. Lim bu want to go shave armpit and remove leg-hair. Talking to senseless people just takes up too much time and one only has an average of 80 years to live. No way am I gonna let those rodents be the reason for my unhappy death.

So Miss Claris Alexis Ann Ortega (or whatever your real name is), you looking for a battle with me? Bring it on sister (omg! did I just say that?!). Name the time, place and date. Don't say I humji dare not turn up. Who was the one who said she wanted to sent her backing after me last year? Wah... it takes 365++ days to get to Tampines from wherever they come from eh? I am so impressed. NOT.

Hmm, maybe after reading this, you're gonna tell your momma that I'm defaming you/spoiling your image. Let me tell you something first, you've already tarnished your own image. Everybody in school HATES you. Remember the time Lime Magazine came to give a talk to us and you volunteered to answer one of their questions? The whole school was practically boo-ing the moment you stood up. So since it's clear that nobody likes you, what harm can come to me after posting this entry? Think about it ok? =)

Oh yah, the belly-stud that you gave me for my birthday this year, you can have it back. I don't receive fake stuff from pretencious posers. And I can afford my own belly-ring by the way. Ta-ta, my scaly little friend. Sweet dreams and all the best in the upcoming exams (I'm being sarcastic).

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Surprisingly... (I promise, this WILL be the last post for October)

My linguistic skills are "not so good afterall" according to a yahoo. Well now, let's just do some statistical comparing shall we? (ps: Don't blame me for being egoistic.)

Can you get an A2 for a Cambridge paper WITHOUT EVEN TRYING? Can you enter the examination hall with one eye shut and charm the markers with your excellent use of vocabulary? HARHARHAR! I doubt so. Otherwise, you wouldn't have to lick my boot so bloody often.

Are you able to get 39/40 for Oral?

11/12 (Reading)
12/12 (Picture description)
16/16 (Conversation)

Add up my scores and indeed, I was top scorer amongst the graduating students for this year's prelim oral(needless to say). How did I do it? Figure it out yourself, since you're so effing smart.

Let's turn back the clock to year 2003 when Mr Aw was my English teacher for the 1st semester. I can still remember when he was handing out our mid-year compositions and MAJORITY of the class failed. As for those who passed, their scores were 18-19/25.

What did I get? I received a record-breaking 24/25.

Even after Mrs Tan took over Mr Aw, my performance was maintained and I CONTINUOUSLY topped the class during practices, tests and exams.

Am I worth your adoration? MOST DEFINATELY.

You're just a tiny lil' nymph who happens to have a relatively good command of English. BIG DEAL. I've topped your score from the beginning of time until the prelims. If you want to remark about my grades, I shall do the exact same for you.

I got a PATHETIC B3 for my prelims.

WHAT. EVER.

Why not you TRY and do better than me during the 'O's eh? Oh no, wait! It wouldn't be fair to you since I've only gotten ONE C5 during my 5 year secondary life (note: I was top scorer in class despite having that lanjiao grade.)

So how? Up for a battle? I'll gladly, unreluctantly and graciously oblige. But here's the consequence for losing to me (again): I'd slap your mouth 5 times for being so critical about my results, another 5 times for speaking without thinking and another 5 more times for being such a pain in the ass.

Think twice the next time you decide to shoot your mouth off.

*********************************************** (pretty stars!!!!!)

Keep in mind, I am NOT an ego-maniac. If that person hadn't made such a comment straight into my face, would I come online and blab all those unnecessary crap? Seriously speaking, there is ALOT more for me to type (but I'll shut my trap for the time being).

I may seem like an ostensibly easy-going person (which I am!) to many people. But having to deal with the incessant childish yakkings of infantiles just make me have a yen to bludgeon them to death in broad daylight. Oooohhh... it gives me great pleasure to witness them perish a slow and excruciating death.

I can also foresee people bad-mouthing me regarding this entry, spammers not hesitating to flood my comment box, and hypocritical 'friends' saying that I'm a show-off.

Come on. I didn't start this. If you're looking for someone to verbally murder, go after that person who offended me. His/her blog is linked to mine, so just go look for it.

Last post... for now.

Today, I boarded the first aircon-less bus in a long beyond long time. Wow! It sure brings back memories on how I used to put my head out of the window and look at passing vehicles. Needless to say, my grandma would embarrass herself by shouting with a voice so loud, the Great Wall of China would rumble.

"Ah girl! You want to die arh?! Cannot put your head out of the window!!!!!!!!!!"

Hahahahaha!!!!!!! Old nag. Do I look like an obedient grand-daughter with an angelic smile?

NOPE.

In fact, I was a mischievious grand-daughter with a mega-watt smile. WOOT!

'O's are in 2 weeks... for me. I've started revision for Science and Maths. Left with Humanities and my much loved English Language. Wish me luck, peeps. I want at least 3 distinctions this time. For which subject? Hehe... go figure!

Oh yeah, I made a present for someone. Hmm... will this person like it? Let's wait and see, shall we? It took me half a day to prepare everything. I give myself 2 thumbs up for my effort and creativity.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Practical sucked.

Wasted! My time and effort gone down the drain. I've learnt my lesson... NEVER STUDY FOR CHEMISTRY PRACTICAL.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Where to hide my face?!

Are you people aware that Clara's screws are loose?! She is the craziest bitch alive, dude! While on the phone with her last night, I was feeling peckish and decided to dial McDnalds' hotline for the Home Delivery Service.

That bo liao girl wanted me to ADD THE PERSON WHO ANSWERED THE HOTLINE INTO THE CONFERENCE. Mad or not this kind of people?! I told her, "NO! Don't bo liao lah!", but her constant pestering drove me up the wall and I gave in because I'm such a nice friend.

-dials 6777-3777 and the person answers the phone-

McDonalds Guy: Can I have your order?

Me: Can I have a McChicken Meal? But I want a plain burger.

Clara: *hysterical laughter*

M.G.: Ok, so what drink would you like?

Me: Err.... coke please.

M.G.: So let me repeat your order. A McChicken meal; plain burger, a medium fries and a regular coke right?

Me: Yup!

M.G.: How will you be paying? Through cash?

Me: Err... yah! Through cash.

Clara: VISA! VISA!

M.G.: Huh? You'll be paying by VISA?

Me: HUH?! No, no! By cash!
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STUPID GIRL!!!!! You not pai seh, I pai seh ok! Wah lao... pay by VISA wor. I talk to the person that time, you still can laugh until so loud. Kuku head! That guy must be thinking it was a prank call man. Trust me, this is the first AND last time I ever do such a thing.

Whoopi! Daddy's coming home tonight! AND HE SMS-ED ME FROM THAILAND SAYING THAT HE BOUGHT ME AN ORIGINAL AC-MILAN JERSEY!!!!!! And he specially printed Kaka's name and the number 22 at the back!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original leh! No doubt he bought it from Thailand, but it's still expensive ok! Thanks Daddy-kins!

Dear Steven Gerrard, it's not that I don't want a jersey with your name on it, but Dad said I could only have ONE shirt. And since you've a girlfriend and a daughter, I think it's best I stick with Ricardo Kaka (for the moment). Hahahaha!!!! It's a lame reason, but logical. Period.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Terrorist story.

I wasn't joking when I told you that I plan to destroy the Esplanade, did I? Here's a picture of a terrorist I'm working closely with.



DON'T STEREOTYPE THE GUY AS A VILLIAN OK. He had a very sad childhood... *sobs*


Here's the life-story of Mr Mask&Goggles:

He was the class nerd...



.... everyone made fun of him.

So despite wanting to graduate from school with a proper certificate, he left for the workforce.

He tried being a hip-hopper


But err... didn't quite succeed as one. He then became a waiter for a measly salary of 4 doughnuts per day.




He charmed his boss' wife and he got fired. Aaaaawwww!!!!!!

Furious over losing his job, he decided to take after Anakin Skywalker and "turn to the bad side".

Slowly, but surely, he morphed into someone whom we all fear.

Stage 1


Stage 2:


Stage 3:


Stage 4:



WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET, BAYBEH!!!!!


Be afraid, be VERY afraid.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Liked my post? I know it rocks.

In case you're curious, the guy who agreed to the 'photoshoot' is Kuanjie. LoL! I was viewing him through his webcam when he began dressing up to 'entertain' me. Alot of different styles!

-Hip-hopper
-Grass cutter
-terrorist
-Grass cutter go swimming and then go formal dinner etc. etc.

It was fun, I tell you. Hmm... must ask him to do it more often. Muahahahaha!

Kuanjie's birthday is on the 20th of October... and I can't celebrate with him because I'm having Science Practical on that day!!!!! NO FAIR!!!!!

This shall be a birthday present post for him. HAPPY BIRTHDAY COEUS!

Friday, October 14, 2005

Evil people~

Who's this?


New dog on the block?


Hahaha! Believe it or not, it's ROCKY! (after a visit to the grooming centre) Since Mum has started working, Dad said it would be better to "trim" off his fur so it doesn't need to be brushed that often.

You call this trim???? Even his beard is gone! The correct term should be "shave" instead.

This past few days, little doggie has been walking with a slight limp. After observing his movements, I realised that it's his left hind-leg that's been... err... giving problems. Nobody could understand how Rocky got "injured". I concluded that it might have something to do with his age. Dogs get old too, you know?

Dad brought him to the vet yesterday and I was prepared for the worst; we could be forced to put him to sleep. But hey, his limp was not an effect of old age! It's either because he fell down or... SOMEBODY DROPPED HIM!!!!!!

I have a pretty good idea who caused Rocky to get injured. In case you people are unaware, the grooming centre where Rocky usually goes to has a really high table which dogs have to stand on while getting groomed. Hmm... I don't wanna stir any trouble... but are you thinking what I'm thinking? Hehehehehehe.

THOSE MEANIES!!!!!!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

It pains me!

After school today, I met Miss Bitch Clara and both of us had lunch with Nicholas at White Sands. Had a great time with the both of them! Talked about lotsa stuff, laughed at the most minute things and poor Nick was being made scapegoat of the day.

OH YAH!!! I finally met Ruyun today (although I was kinda relunctant to face her at first due to my messy hair). She's a nice girl... really cool as well. Believe me, she will grow up to be a top-notch director. As for me, I'll be her camera (wo)man. Clara and Nick will be the actors who hold the world record for having the most NGs.

While playing around with Nick's handphone, guess who I saw coming out from Macs?


RYOMA!!!!!!!!!


He's grown up! No longer the childish boy he used to be. Chatted with the Japanese lad for a while and came to realise that he can be such a good chat-bud. We talked about school and Mr Otsuka told me that he once enjoyed looking at a very pretty teacher because she had big boobs... but after awhile, he dismissed her as his eye-candy because, according to him, she had "alot of flab at her armpits... eeeeewwww".

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I find it a total waste that he left school. If I could have half his brain power, I would've passed my 'O's on my first attempt and need not come back to deal with all the crap that's going on in school right now. Nevertheless, I'm glad I have a friend like Ryoma. Hopefully he'll excel in whatever he's doing now.

Friends! They come, they go. I respect and treasure them but then again, there will be some nitwits who don't appreciate what I've done for them. Worse still, they CLAIM that I'm arrogant and ACCUSE me of not wanting to socialise with them because they are from the NA stream.

WAKE UP, will ya?! I'm in the Normal Academic Stream too, in case you haven't noticed! What have I said/done that made you ASSume that I despise Sec5 students? I have friends in the 5 year Secondary School course... have I looked down on them? Have I walked up to any of them, saying that I'm superior because I did well enough in P6 to get into the Express stream? HAVE I DONE ANY OF THAT??????????

Oh forget it. It's not like my statement will make any sense to those people. I say one thing, they misunderstand what I said and BOOM! I become public enemy #1. Yes, I had a quarrel with someone 2 months back. God knows what she told her friends and now, I get stared at whenever I walk pass them. WHAT THE FUCK?! What did I do to deserve such treatment huh? I wasn't 100% in the wrong... and just because I was the ONLY one in the ENTIRE school who dared to oppose her, I am now lower than dirt.

Thank alot, pal! I knew you since the beginning of time and ONE disagreement (in 5 years) between us stirred so much hatred within you that you wouldn't even glance my way when we cross lanes?! Even your classmates are ignoring and avoiding eye-contact with me. Oh heck! Continue being stubborn and say whatever you want to those narrow-minded buddies of yours. With God as our witness, we'll see who's at the losing end when the truth finally comes to light.

Look, I can't help it if I look "arrogant" to any of you. I came into this world with little choice. If I were as obnoxious as you all claim I am, would I approach Ryoma today when I saw him at Pasir Ris? Would I start a conversation with him and join him for a puff? HUH?!?! TELL ME! SINCE I ONLY HANG OUT WITH EXPRESS STUDENTS, WHY WAS I SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH RYOMA, NICK, CLARA AND RUYUN?!

Bloody hell. Everything I do is offensive to so many people. This cannot, that cannot. I blog out my thoughts and my tagboard gets spammed. I make new friends and others see me as a "betrayer". FINE FINE FINE! I betrayed the club ok? Wo wang en fu yi ok? I'm an ingrate ok? Assume all you want. I'm tired and I'm pissed to the max.

Hey, do me a favour and tell the Prime Minister that I plan to bomb the Esplanade ok? I'm also an undercover spy for the terrorists. When the time is right, I'll send them a signal to hijack a plane and crash those buildings at the CBD. Hurry up, go and tell Lee Hsien Loong! What are you waiting for? Suckers.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

It's only a matter of time...

Didn't do that badly for Maths P1. While attempting those stupid questions in the examination hall WITHOUT MY CALCULATOR, I could have passed out any minute. You guys know how bad I am with mental calculations right? Dang! It took me more than 5 minutes to figure out the magnitude of some stupid vector (I fucking hate this topic!).

But then again, I'm glad I no longer fall into the category of "F9 student". I'm happy for AMALINA "MISS CRANTO" BTE SA'AT as well! Yes, she used to flunk maths last year but this time round, she didn't just pass the subject... SHE GOT THE HIGHEST SCORE IN CLASS! My goodness!! I'm so happy for her! Congratulations AMALINA!!!! (I bolded her name and I'm going to add in her picture so the "Taiwanese girl" from THAT class will know who AMALINA is.)



THIS IS AMALINA, in case you're wondering. Don't need to be jealous. You bitches maggots have no right to be jealous of her. She worked hard for her results. As for her having a "handsome, sexy" boyfriend, well, she's more CHIO than all of you (added up together) anyway. =p

Along with Maths P1, I got back both my English papers. BAH! Frickin' disappointing man. I FAILED MY SUMMARY! Earned only 3 marks for content ok! Gosh, this is the kind of result worth marvelling at. 7 marks for language and 3 for content. Total: 10/25

BRAVO, Kim! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people may say, "Aiyah, your 'O' level get A2 already what! Worry for what?"

Hmm... let's just say that English is the ONLY subject I have a flair in. I've never excelled in anything else except for writing and reading. So getting a grade of such standard is going to affect my mentality. Like you said, I scored a distinction for English during the 'O's and now I only get a B for my overall score? It's definately demoralising.

Moreover, so what if I got an A2? It's no big deal (at least not to me). So I come back to school and I'm just going to subject myself to that A2 for the rest of my life? No, right??? Who would want to remain as second best when he/she has a chance to be the best of the best? If you're a teacher, you're gonna teach for over a decade with NO PROMOTION? I bet not.

So like I said, it's not about whether or not I've scored a good grade during my first attempt of the 'O's. It's about challenging myself to improve and become better. But if I suay suay cannot get A1 then I have no choice but to stick to my previous score. That's when I know that getting an A2 is my limit.

Kuanli, work hard!! Endure for one bloody month and that's it; all over! You've got potential to score, girl. Just do your best and prove to others that you can do the impossible. =)

I showed Dad my Maths paper. He wasn't pleased, I could tell. Sorry Pa. I'll work hard... this I promise you. $400 per month for tuition is not cheap AT ALL. But your investment in my education won't go to waste, you can count on this. Thanks for believing in me and providing me with the best.

Did I tell you guys I've got the greatest Daddy I can ever ask for? If I haven't, I'VE GOT THE BESTEST DAD IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!