Thursday, September 28, 2006

It occured to me suddenly that

People come and go within the blink of an eye and a snap of fingers. I was doing what I did best this evening; random surfing. I ran out of sites to explore and resorted to reading an ex-classmate's blog (we've stopped contacting each other for quite some time now).

As always, her entries are filled with worries about her not knowing how well she'll do in her upcoming 'A' levels. Nothing peculiar, considering she's the sort of student who's always aiming for improvements and distinctions.

But as I read on, three of her entries caused my eyes to remain open longer than they should be. Until now, I still can't come to terms that what I read was true.

Let's just say that I was kinda close to L (the ex-classmate in topic) way back in 2001 and 2002. We had a really cool clique with J, V, JM, R and DH. Those lovely juvenile days in Tampines Mall, Century Square, White Sands, East Point, Tampines Blk 201... Yeaps. Anyways, whenever we planned for an outing, I had a rather bad (or good, it's up to you to decide) habit of turning up extra early and poor L had to invite me to her place for a drink whilst she got ready.

Her house may not be well-furnished with all those fancy furnitures, LCD flat-screens, the latest laptop model and all, but the one thing that made that place special was the feeling of love that exuded from L's very friendly and good natured mum. Whenever she sees me (be in in school or somewhere else), she never fails to smile at me and asks me to study hard.

I was envious of L for having such a loving mother who was never afraid of showing signs of affection to her daughter in public. During lessons, L always strived for the best results and constant improvements for her weaker subjects because she wanted to repay her mum for spending so much on her tuition fees. This mother-daughter bond is just unbreakable.

Ok, what L wrote in those three posts of hers gave me one of the biggest shocks in my life because it concerned her mother's death.

Yes, you read me right. Her mother died on this day one year ago.

All I can do now is ask myself how will I ever be able to cope if a parent leaves me. How did Soo Chin cope when Uncle "Black Joe" passed away? How is Bindi Sue coping with her daddy's tragic dying? Will I be able to be like them both?

I get very paranoid nowadays whenever I experience some sorta illness. I'm afraid of dying, I don't deny that. I have yet to see the world, to graduate with my Diploma, to get my driving license, to get my first high-paying job; LIFE HAS ONLY JUST STARTED FOR ME.

I didn't manage to go for my attachment for two days (tuesday & wednesday) because there was severe redness in both my eyes and my vision was blurred for no particular reasons. I didn't know what to think when I was watching Singapore Idol halfway and my eyesight just blanked out. I swear, I couldn't see anything clearly!!

The first thought that came to my mind was if I was gonna be blind. Second thought was, did I over use my lenses and cause problems to my cornea. Another friend of mine, FB, is currently suffering from this problem. Over using of contact lenses caused him his cornea.

I couldn't bare the thought of having any of those sympthoms. I can't lose my eyesight; at least not now when I've only just began to understand the true meaning of living my life to the fullest.













Thank goodness it was nothing but dryness of my eyes that caused all the redness and blurry visions. A minor issue that resulted in a major freak out.

I am thankful that I'm still as healthy as ever. Omg, eversince that scare I had during my medical check up in March, I get wild thoughts everytime something usual happens to me. Thanks to YOU, I appreciate life a whole lot more.

Praise be to you.