Monday, July 28, 2008

Chapter 5 - Closure

I cried myself to sleep last night. The tears flowed on continuously and effortlessly despite me trying my best to curb the constant sobs and occasional chokes. That alone cannot sum up the tremendous amount of pain you implanted within me.

Why?

Why am I here?

A new door has opened up for me, but I'm still clinging onto the knob of the one that's closing; shutting me out from everything else. The multiple cracks on this wooden door... image-wise, it can't be compared to the new white-washed Victorian-style one, but it's the one I love. Yet however hard I try to hold onto it, it's just bent on shutting itself and leaving me alone in this awful place I've long accepted as my "Home".

Can you feel the hurt inside of me? Can you look pass my exterior and understand how much your touch means to me? Will this punishment never end? I'm beginning to feel so weak... so alone... Where are you?? Where are you when I need you by my side? You said that you'll always be there for me... So where are you?!

But even if you do appear before my eyes, it's just your body and your shadow. What I need is your heart and your soul... They've drifted away. Too far away to even retrieve a fraction of it back.

As Britney sang, "Your body's here but you are not..."






Goodbye :'(