Saturday, May 13, 2006

I don't get it

Why do girls like her have boyfriends whereas I'm still single and searching?!! It's plain unfair!!

First off, let's compare our hairstyles and it's texture.
I CAN SAY I HAVE A MORE FUNKY HAIRSTYLE THAN HER! Mine's shoulder length and I can style it in many different ways using either mousse, wax or water gel. I can easily pass myself off as an innocent schoolgirl, a party animal or even a housewife. I am able to do all this because I've got STYLE and CREATIVITY.

She??

Hahahaha! She's got an overrated pony-tail on that empty head of hers. BORING!!! So.. unoriginal. Gosh! I wouldn't be surprised if she's got split ends on her strands.

Long hair, pony-tails and split ends?? PULEEESSSEEE!!!! Learn to spice things up a little, dude! Time to give up that I-AM-A-VIRGIN-WHO-IS-VERY-PWEETY look and go for a desperate makeover (cos you obviously need it!).


Then comes physical appearance! And I am really fuming because I stand at a height of 160 cm and weigh a very shocking but comfortable 51kg BUT NO GUYS SEEM TO BE ATTRACTED TO ME!!!

She, on the other hand, is 1.55 m tall and weighs... erm... oh my goodness! I gotta do some serious estimation now man. Let's see, her wasitline is probably 48 inches in total, the amount of fat contained in that body of hers is definately more than 7 gallons, which brings me to a logical conclusion that her weight is 625 tonnes.

Wah kao! What happened?! So now the male species are attracted to females who're lumpy, flabby and full of lard?!! Whatever happened to "she must have a small waist, good sense of style, long slender legs" criteria?!!! ARGH!


Moving on to the topic about having long slender legs, my pair of legs may not be worth as much as Gisele Bundchen's. BUT THEY ARE 100% MORE LOOK-ABLE THAN THAT GIRL'S!

I mean, c'mon people! She's got scars and sores all over 'em! As my dad would say, "So many 50 cents, 20 cents! haiyoh, so awful!"

Yah lor, SO AWFUL! So many "coins" on her legs trunks. Tsk tsk, next time you all need spare change to buy drinks from vending machines ah, you all know who to look for.


Next up, fashion sense!!
WHAT WAS SHE THINKING WHEN SHE DECIDED TO WEAR A MINI-SKIRT TO SCHOOL? So very confident eh? Look so stunningly sexy and ravishingly BEAUTIFUL in that outfit right? I burst into laughter the moment one bitch pointed her out to me.

Alamak, I think I'd be doing her a huge favour if I sign her up for "All Change". Remember the variety show whereby contestants have to go for make-overs and become a new person? She is in need of that. Holy shucks!

A black tee (was it a V-neck? OMG! I will never wear one ever again!), an eye-poppingly short denim skirt and flip-flops. Aiyoyo! Get a life man! If I were to wear something like that to school, I'd suck Mr Garrison's buzz (haha!). Know why? COS I DON'T DRESS TO BLEND IN THE CROWD. I choose to be attention-seeking and I've got no regrets about it.

AT THE VERY LEAST, I AM SOMEONE and not no-one.


This might seem like a meaningless post but the downside f it all is WHY IS SHE ONE STEP AHEAD OF ME WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS?!!!!





















Oh, I think I know why! I think I've got the answer!

She's got a (fat) soul-mate because... he's just as pathetic as her when it comes to grooming oneself and standing out from the rest.


Oh brother, after much deliberation... I think I'd rather remain single.