Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I HATE LIFE MORE THAN EVER NOW!

Hell yes, it's more than a bitch at this point of time. It's more than a malicious, back-stabbing, cat-eyed, sexually deprived, promiscuous and obnoxious brat! I hate it so much, I so wanna end it right here, right now. But I'm still holding on because I'm not willing to let go of a few things just yet. Until the day I'm able to prove myself that I'm not what they think I am, I won't quit trying to prove myself.

So yeah, I'm not jumping off a building anytime soon. (And so what if I do? I'll be doing you guys a favour! One less person to backstab! One less person to be hypocritical with! One less person to waste your time and money on!)

If I ever die before my 21st birthday, I would like to be laid to rest in a white victorian coffin with sky-blue silk cushions. Dressed in my trade-mark look; lycra top and skinny jeans. Not forgetting, a spritz of Britney's new creation; Midnight Fantasy. Yes, if I can't meet Britney in person in this life-time, having her perfume on me is good enough.

I guess it's no use typing everything out here and trying to gain the sympathy of others. I don't want anybody's sympathy. I don't need it! Neither do I need people to teach me how to be a better person when they, themselves, are struggling to come to terms with the fact that they are not as well received as they think they are.

Hmm...

I'm not out to spike anyone in particular but what I heard recently really shocked the existing devil out of me. Of all people, HER! The person who took me under her wing and guided me through the past year or so.

I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling right now because saying that I'm depressed or down or emotionally unstable would all be understatements. I looked up to her with a great due of respect, considering how many times she's helped me and cared for me. And then now, I find out from a very reliable source that she's been talking about me behind my back!

True, no one is free from hypocracy. But THIS is too much.

Well, don't worry, my dearest friend. I do not have plans to run away or to migrate just yet so you can rest assured that I'll give it all back to you. I don't want any of it! After that, we're quits. I don't wanna have anything to do with you anymore -_^

When fifty-second street sang "Superman" on-stage on the 15th of December, I had some sort of strange, queer feeling when I heard them sing. NOW I KNOW WHY!

It's a dog-eat-dog world. I don't trust anyone; at least not as many as before.

I can bid farewell to those good ol' days. They're now acquaintences, not friends.