Monday, October 31, 2005

I'm letting it all out!

Claris Ortega, can you just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you?! After all the despicable stuff that you've done to us, you have the nerve the accuse Amal and I for "putting words in (your) mouth", "pointing our fingers at (you)" and "accusing (you) falsely"?! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, STOP PLAYING THE ROLE OF THE VICTIM OK?

Your kurapted skin is actually lead-thick. You heard me? IT'S LEAD-THICK! Alpha, beta and gamma rays cannot even penetrate through it. For the 5 years that I've been your classmate (I know, lim peh damn suay), you have never once told the truth. Yah, sure. We all know that you have caviar for dinner every night with red wine. We're also aware that your boyfriend has supper with God once every fortnight.

Oh boy, Saturday was fun! Miss Kuraptor conveniently gave my number to her BF (Shan) and the boyfriend claimed that I "got (him) involved in the situation" because typed out his name in the entry I wrote for Amal.

OH PLEASE. Just because your name is included doesn't mean that you're "involved". I was asking Claris if she was going to get her oversized boyfriend to ride his environmental-polluting vehicle down to EV to confront Amal. And Shan wasn't happy about because I insulted him and his bike (?) without knowing his background.

HUH????? Do I need to "know (your) background" to call you fat, Shan? Fine. You wanna play kiddy games with me, I'll play along. Then explain to me why you called me a "pussy-licker" and "pussy carrier". You also don't know my background right?! KANINABUCHOWCHEEBAI! I lick Amal's pussy is it? Well, at least it beats fiddling with kuraps. =p

Later on, Claris called me and yada yada yada.

"Hello, Kim ah? This is Claris. When I use Shan to fight with you huh? You tell me. When did I ever use Shan's name to fight with you?"

And Shan ah, this is Kim ah. Tell me, when did I tell you that Claris use your name to fight with me? What I said was "Claris is always using your name to brag to others that she has a boyfriend. Shan here, Shan there. Shan this, Shan that. Listen until sian." What the hell, simple Singlish also don't understand? What use Shan's name and fight with me?!

DORTZ.....

Ortega, are you sure that you've never lied to us before? I'm not sure if the number of false tales you've told Amal and group can beat the amount I've received from you. Do you remember last year's Euro Cup? You kept my ticket and my winnings for yourself, you incorrigible whore. And when I looked you up in school for it, you returned me $5 (the amount that I used to bet) out of the $28.95 that you owe.

What did you do after that? Let's see, you went home and complained to your mum that I "harrassed" you for money?! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU SAID THAT MAN? In school got SO MANY chiobu and I choose to harrass you arh?

Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! I don't think I'm myopic anymore. I MUST BE BLIND. Back to the story, her mother then called my dad and complained to him that I was harrassing her lovable daughter and distracting her from her studies. Tsk tsk... distracting her from her studies wor!! Say until her daughter damn scholarly like that. In the end, did worse than me in the 'O's. And if you're not guilty, why return the initial sum of money that I gave you huh?

*rolls eyes and spits* PUI!!!!!!!

Aaaawwww... I actually sympathise with you. Your ex-boyfriend (Winson) stole my number from your phone and wanted to call me that very night to have a conversation. It's a sad case for you, and a fucking insulting one for me. Eeewwww!!!! Knowing that a guy of THAT STANDARD wants to pick me up just erks me. Who does he think he is anyway?! He's got no looks, no cash and no future. Plus, he's severely overweight (and I hate guys who don't play sports). And then you accused me of scandalling with him! Excuse moi, I may be single but I'm not desperate. There are hundreds of gigolos out there with a better body made for pleasing a girl. I don't need to bed your guy.

Moreover, if I was the kind who goes out with my friend's BF, Don't you think I would rather go out with Jordan (Kuanli's), Farhan (Amal's), Izam (Fir's) and Nick (Clara's)?!! Go out with Winson... tell him slowly wait lah! Erm, girls, I promise I won't lay a finger on your guys.

Winson tells you that he sms-ed the wrong person (he intended to sms you but sent the msg to me) and you believed him? How stupid can you get?! WHAT WAS MY NUMBER DOING IN HIS PHONE TO BEGIN WITH?! I don't recall exchanging more than 2 words with him when I met him at your place for the first time. So just deal with it ok? He was trying to hook up with me and two-time you. And Winson, I hope you're reading this, try reflecting yourself in a mirror before you ever try that stint on another girl.

Peeps, read this.

Claris: Eh, Shan say that you told him I use his name to find taiji in school. That is what I heard lah. Did you say that?

Me: I didn't say that. What I said was you're always bragging about him in school. Shan here, shan there. Yes, Shan conquered Mount Everest, Shan swam the Yellow river, Shan had dinner with God, on and on and on.

Claris: I DID NOT SAY SHAN CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN, I DID NOT SAY SHAN HAD DINNER WITH GOD......
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Wah lan eh, sometimes talking to toddlers just make me feel so dumb. I was using expressions and there she was, thinking that Shan literally sat down at the table to makan with God. Get a life lah.

Kurap and I exchanged a few harsh words and I hung after saying "Lazy to argue with you lah, BYE!!!" Shan, the hero of the day, called back and then passed the phone to Claris to let me "talk things out with her". I hung up again and he sent me this sms, " So.. you're the one that been lying, ha..."

HAHAHAHA! I hang up means I tell lies eh? Ortega shout, "Fuck off" through the phone means she tell truth ah? Me no time argue with you. Lim bu want to go shave armpit and remove leg-hair. Talking to senseless people just takes up too much time and one only has an average of 80 years to live. No way am I gonna let those rodents be the reason for my unhappy death.

So Miss Claris Alexis Ann Ortega (or whatever your real name is), you looking for a battle with me? Bring it on sister (omg! did I just say that?!). Name the time, place and date. Don't say I humji dare not turn up. Who was the one who said she wanted to sent her backing after me last year? Wah... it takes 365++ days to get to Tampines from wherever they come from eh? I am so impressed. NOT.

Hmm, maybe after reading this, you're gonna tell your momma that I'm defaming you/spoiling your image. Let me tell you something first, you've already tarnished your own image. Everybody in school HATES you. Remember the time Lime Magazine came to give a talk to us and you volunteered to answer one of their questions? The whole school was practically boo-ing the moment you stood up. So since it's clear that nobody likes you, what harm can come to me after posting this entry? Think about it ok? =)

Oh yah, the belly-stud that you gave me for my birthday this year, you can have it back. I don't receive fake stuff from pretencious posers. And I can afford my own belly-ring by the way. Ta-ta, my scaly little friend. Sweet dreams and all the best in the upcoming exams (I'm being sarcastic).