Friday, June 23, 2006

BUSY BUSY DAYS!

I am so full of worry for my exams, I can barely think straight. I promised Dad that I'll do well since he's forking out cash by the truckload to pay for my education, I also promised him that I'm able to juggle both work and studies. So far, I have been able to balance both sides... but sometimes, I really feel like quitting school and become a full-timer with Billy Bombers.

Work is fun! My colleagues treat me well and I have learned alot of stuffs eversince I joined the crew way back in November 2005. It's been 7 outrageous months as a waitress and trust me, I'd never give up those times for anything else this dreadful world has to offer.

Recently, my bitches celebrated my (early) birthday with me at Sentosa. Yeaps, another year older... another year without a companion. I guess, it's been two years since I last had someone to cuddle against. Bah! It shall remain that way.

I have been spending quite alot of time with Salmon as well... And during the Spain vs Tunisia game, we were sms-ing each other like crazy during the first half! He was going on and on about how Spain would lose and how they were down on luck, whereas I grumbled about the referee being biased against the spainiards and that their defence was horrendous.

Final score: Spain 3-1 Tunisia

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Obviously, I got the last laugh.

I wonder what life would be like without him and his bogus laughter. Thinking about it just spoils my mood; knowing that he'll be gone for that period. I can't spend Christmas with him. WILL WE EVEN BE IN CONTACT AFTER HE RETURNS HOME? I don't know and I don't wanna think about the negative outcome of things. All I hope is for him to be happy and successful.

Humans are strange little beings. If I had ran into Salmon on the streets, I'd pass him off like any random guy. But then I got to know him through work and this happens. Oh bother... it happens everytime I gotta study for a major exam. I do get a wee bit distracted, but I do manage to pull myself together after a few days of slacking; which results in my performance in school being mediocre. Trust me, it SUCKS.

"Now in the bus alone... sian ah! Salmon, salmon, salmon!"

"Oh, u're in bus70? Why dun take 133? Walk nearer mah... sal ur head lahh!"


Those are nothing but memories now. At that point of time, there was something for me to hope for, to look forward to. That is, until he dropped the bomb on me before his birthday. Argh! Horrible night, I remember. Frickin' unforgettable yet horrible.

I'm trying my best to get him off my mind... and it's not easy. I want to put an end to it all... but I can't seem to let go of what blossomed and died between us. Is there another guy out there similar to him? Anyone else more compatible with me?? But the one big question I have in my head is; "When he's away, will he think of me as much as I know I'll think of him?"

God, save my soul and take it all away! For the time being, I'd like to live in a world where emotions do not exist (again!). It's the only way I'll ever get over him; if I lock all my feelings up and remain numb.

So it's settled then...