Monday, March 19, 2007

Just my luck! Just my fucking luck!

A Manchester United fan just had to move in with us. Whoopi! Let's all jump for joy and celebrate how Liverpool lost to the Red Devils weeks back by a single goal during injury time. Let's pop the champagne and slurp up fresh oysters too yeah? Then we'll all die of high cholesterol!

So my team didn't perform well against Aston Villa tonight. I was bummed at how they just simply passed the ball around the pitch with no attempts to score but you didn't have to add salt to my wound by saying that "they play just like the S-League". And you (the person I despise the most currently) needn't pour acid on my already salted wound by going on and on about how Liverpool's not playing well, they can't play, their performance cannot make it, they're not as good as Man U and they cause you to lose money.

Stupid asshole.

You lose money, their problem ah? Since when was it their job to help you become an overnight millionaire? And if they were able to make people rich by playing games, why should they help you get rich? I SHOULD BE THE ONE THEY HELP RIGHT?! I'm their loyal fan ok... you're a bloody Man U supporter and a sucker for Cristiano Ronaldo goals.

Macam you know so well about football. You're redundant lah! You watch Liverpool thrash Monaco in the Champions League qualifying rounds and you say, "Wah, Liverpool now very good ah? Gerrard is super... see the way they play... damn good." They drew with Aston Villa and you go, "Liverpool cannot lah... they cannot play lah..."

Fuck you!

They win a game and they're good. They lose/draw (aka make you lose $$) and they are pussies? So, Barcelona got kicked out of the Champions League by Liverpool. I assume Barcelona is "no good" anymore? Hello, no matter how good a team is, there will be games whereby they don't perform well what! The players are all human beings, not immortals; don't expect them to keep winning all the time.

MY CUSHION PILLOWS HAVE BEEN CONTAMINATED BY YOU!

FIRST YOU CHOSE TO ATTACK THE ONE WITH THE DONKEY.

AND THEN YOU ATTACKED THE ONE WITH THE PRINCESS.

ONE HOUR AGO, YOU MURDERED THE ONE WITH THE CAT!!!!!!!

How many more do you plan to smear your perspiration and body odour on?! NABEH!!!!!!!! Automatic abit can or not?! Stay people's house and rub my pillows against your partially rotten arse...

RRROOOAAARR!!!!!!!!!!!

I tell you now, Cristiano Ronaldo is NOT a professional footballer. He's a professional diver. And his favourite spot for diving? The Penalty box; which is why Man U has been winning. Cristiano Ronaldo is NOT the best midfielder in the world. Steven Gerrard is (considering Zidane has retired). Cristiano Ronaldo is NOT the youngest, most valuable player. Theo Walcott is; and if you think I'm being biased towards Liverpool, fyi, Walcott is an Arsenal player. What biased? WHAT BIASED?!

Don't talk to me about that fucking Portugese penalty box diver as though he's some sort of deity worth of my praise. I don't fancy dirty tricks on the pitch! And I don't like watching guys run like as though they're skipping with an invisible skipping rope. And for the record, HE'S NOT HANDSOME!

You want handsome? Try going to Google and look for Kaka! Now that's a hot, young, professional, valuable footballer. He doesn't excel in diving and he doesn't rely on penalties to win. Oh yeah, and my first ever footballer crush, Michael Owen, is also a thousand times sexier looking.

I have to say it again cos it just gives me joy; CRISTIANO RONALDO SUCKS!

I need to bring my cushion pillows to a nearby hospital and have 'em autoclaved until they're sterile and clean for me to use again! Cheebye McNugget! Lanjiao fishdippers!

I pray with all my might that my parents appeal for a 1-room flat gets approved so YOU CAN MOVE OUT and STAY OUTTA MY SIGHT! Go get your own pillows! Idiot!